Sexplorer: Romeion Case
“You mus’ know yourself enuh likkle pickney. Low big people stt’n.”
How many times have we heard these words growing up, from the mouths of adults; our parents, aunts, teachers, and friends of the family, urging us to enjoy childhood and to not be in such a hurry to grow up? In many cases, this was used as a response to our incessant plea to be informed about our sexuality. We’ve been told time and time again of the dangers of engaging in activities reserved only for consenting adults and in extreme cases, reprimanded harshly for the Playboy magazine found under a pile of text books. “Wait!” was the message that was repeated over and over again.
It Is this same concept that professionals have taken and have launched campaigns, in an effort to rescue the future of our country. The most recent and notable of these is the ‘Abstinence Mek Sense’ campaign concocted by the ReTv business entity. But is abstinence really a feasible and practical solution to many of the sexual ills faced by our youth.
What does it mean to abstain?
Children are encouraged to try as much as possible to delay their first encounter with sex for as long as possible, in a perfectly coercible world, until marriage, or at least until they are old and responsible enough to deal with the consequences and realities that come with being sexually active. However, what does this really mean for a young man growing up in a sexually charged Jamaica? This meant that we were expected to turn a blind eye to the girls coming to school with their uniforms cut halfway up the thighs, looking as if it was painted on and their breasts poking us in the eye from halfway across the classroom. This meant that we were to turn our heads in the other direction when we saw the half-naked girls in our community, bathing topless at the river and refuse their advances, to be ridiculed and taunted at school by every other boy who has had a ride on the ‘village bicycle.’ This also meant that we were to face much hardship and bashing from community members, labeling us faggots because, “how come u alone deh home a evening time an’ me nuh see nuh gyal a come over deh come get fuck. You a real batty man enuh.” Are you serious?
The reality
The fact of the matter is that, growing up, we were privy to more information about sex and were consequently more responsible than many of the illiterate, high school drop-outs getting their rabbit thing on in our communities. However, we could not see ourselves traveling to and from school with artistes blaring in our ears “back it up, skin it out, dig out the red” and not feel compelled to find nice young thing and do the same. The truth is, we were consumed by sex in every direction, the TV, the radio, the internet, the tabloids, trash talking community members, experienced peers and teachers telling us not to get involved in activities we had no prior intention of engaging in. And in the midst of all this, we were expected to be A+ students at school and were punished if our averages didn’t satisfy the egotistical cravings of our parents. Punished! Punished for trying our best to cope with the harsh realities of being a teenager by the people who should know more than anyone what it was like to deal with what we were going through, seeing that mom is only 17 years older than I am, and aunty looks as though she and her third child could be paternal twins.
Abstinence Makes Sense for Who?
So the question that loomed over our young heads was, who was this abstinence thing really for? Were they really concerned with our future and our safety or were they just afraid of the ‘shame’ that would come with having a high school drop-out working in a super-market or the community garage, trying to make enough for a pack of ‘lasco’ for the week; Afraid of church members talking behind their backs in the vestry or afraid of falling out of the good graces of the communities very spiritual poco leader? Were we really expected to concentrate in school with all this going on all of a sudden in out lives? The results were then clear. Abstinence didn’t make sense for us. We knew then what we had to do. And so we buckled down like the responsible young people we were supposed to be, worked hard at school, worked equally hard at home doing exorbitant amounts of chores and our reward was, you guessed it, hot steamy sex in the neighbor’s banana walk with his voluptuous teen daughter, or on on his weathered couch with the spring sticking out at the corner and a quick ‘backas’ after school in the prefect’s room.
Solution?
Teenagers are humans and are not some specie to be understood and coerced. They are to be reasoned with and respected if parents want to keep their beautiful daughter from becoming the Chancellor 'Block Betty'. The truth is that, human beings by nature are curious beings and being told not to do something, serves only as an invitation to partake. Of course there are dangers out there that our youth need protecting against, but telling them to avoid them altogether while encouraging them I school to increase knowledge in every area possible, is pure hypocrisy. There are ways and means of achieving the greatest good for our sexually charged teens, but take it from a young man, abstinence is not the way.
