Safer-sex campaigners in Jamaica have begun to encourage people who are not ready for sex to abstain from it as it is the best way to ensure protection against sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS. But in today’s world, is abstinence really practical?
Three tertiary level students gave their take on this very hot-button issue which many of their peers say cannot work for them.
*Nadine*, a 22-year-old second-year student doing a Government-related course in the faculty of Social Sciences at the University of the West Indies (UWI)at Mona, confessed that she has never been sexually active, and finds it extremely challenging to abstain because all her friends have already had sex.
“Even though I have been abstaining for all my life, I think it’s a difficult thing to do. I don’t know how I do it but I figure if I can then others must be able to as well.”
She said that some of the first-time sex experience stories that she has heard have played a major role in her not becoming sexually active.
“I guess it has to do with how I was socialized, coupled by the fact that I’ve heard numerous horror stories about doing it for the first time … how painful it is, in addition to the fact that I like the idea of being chased,” Nadine further revealed.
Many of her peers, she argued, don’t buy into abstinence because they think they should be free to express their feelings sexually, without boundaries.
Abstinence is also encouraged by the church. Christians say that the bible forbids any sexual activity outside of marriage. This rule is even rejected by some Christians (young people in particular) who insist that they do not want any ‘puss in a bag.’ This is a common argument among Jamaicans, who have said that they should experience what sex with their partner is like before the relationship becomes more serious.
Shanario Whitfield, a second-year Physics major at the UWI, said that abstinence is a good thing. The newly elected vice-president of the Universities and Colleges Apostolic Ministries (UCAM) said that he too has been abstaining all his life.
“I believe it (abstinence) is very practical in today's society and, using myself as an example, being a virgin and proud to say so, it is very achievable. My philosophy is, if you put your mind to it, and place God before it, it can be achieved.”
Some tertiary students, over the years, have had casual sex resulting in unwanted pregnancies. As a result, these young mothers are forced, in many cases, to put their studies on hold. Faced with the responsibilities of being a mother, some have not been able to return.
Nadine also spoke about how abstaining from sex, and sticking to one faithful partner, can protect your life.
“Well it is often said that it’s (abstinence) the safest method that can be used to prevent STDs and STIs that can be detrimental or deadly. It can also cause unwanted pregnancy, thus presenting several implications. But as it relates to married couples, their bed is undefiled,” Nadine added.
Whitfield, 21, advises from a spiritual perspective that sex is a sacred activity and should be treated as such.
“Someone (who is not yet married) should abstain from intercourse, because when you have sex with someone their spirit and your's become one. So just imagine you sleep with someone who has been with three partners, and those three partners have been with the world...technically speaking, you have had sex with the world,” Whitfield advised.
Glenroy McIntosh, a second-year student of the UWI at Mona who is pursing his Education degree, confessed that he is sexually active. He said that he regrets doing it because it went against his Christian principles.
“I know it contradicts my Christian beliefs and as such I have decided to stop. I've now been celibate for almost three months now. She (his partner) doesn't have a problem with having sex outside of marriage … I regretted doing it but it’s already gone and I am just trying not to make it happen again.
“Abstinence is still practical; however, to a certain extent. Abstinence avoids sexual intercourse totally - whether oral or penetration … I wouldn't regard petting as having sex; however, it’s dangerous, as it could lead to sexual intercourse,” he added.
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