You have to attend classes on time and keep up with the back to back deadlines for assignments. Then there are final papers to do and maybe a group project that is just not going right because not all the members are pulling their weight. And yes, you’ve got final exams to think about. More sleepless nights, and you’re tired. Then it just gets to be too much for you. You need a way to cope with your stress. You meet someone at school; you like each other, and then comes the sex. It feels good; it helps to relieve the stress associated with school. But is this the best way to cope with your stress?
Some students are able to cope effectively with the overwhelming pressure that comes with tertiary level studies, while others aren't. Over the years, some students have resorted to various stress-relieving solutions, ranging from music, to alcohol, to casual sex.
In an article published in the University of the West Indies (UWI) at Mona's Campus Beat newspaper of December 2009, Caribbean Institute of Media and Communication (CARIMAC) student/journalist, Datonya Ottey-McLaren, interviewed a male member of the University’s basketball team who confessed to turning to this means for stress relief.
The final-year management studies student was quoted in the article as saying: “I don’t put things on my head; I just forget about it and deal with it later. Like right now I have a 20-page essay to complete, so instead of thinking about it, I would do something like drink with my boys, hang out with my friends, link a girl, link my girl … we will have sex …if that comes up; but sex is not like the main thing [to release the tension],” the student told Campus Beat.
Newly installed vice-president of the UWI at Mona's Universities and Colleges Apostolic Ministries (UCAM), Shanario Whitfield, explained that this type of behaviour is not acceptable. He warned that having sex with just about anyone does not only have physical repercussions, but spiritual ones as well.
“When you have sex with someone, their spirit and your's become one. So just imagine you sleep with someone who has been with three partners, and those three partners have been with the world...so technically speaking, you have had sex with the world, and it wouldn't look good on your resume for a job,” Whitfield, a second year Physics student, explained.
Second year Government and Social Sciences major, who we will call *Nadine*, shared her feelings on the issue.
“Well I guess (I would want to have sex to relieve my stress) cause many times when I'm in such a position I feel like I would just do it, but several reasons prevent me from doing it. I heard from my peers that it helps a whole lot,” *Nadine* said.
“It has to do with how I was socialized, coupled with the fact that I’ve heard numerous horror stories about doing it for the first time…how painful it is, in addition to the fact that I like the idea of being chased,” she added.
When asked how she copes, she said: “Firstly, because of my strong beliefs as it relates to why I'm not sexually active. Secondly, my ability to resist such temptations even when I sincerely want it to yield. Thirdly, for the most part, the few guys who have the ability to sweep me off my feet are never aware of it, hence I am never approached by them forcefully and I am not the type of girl to even indicate to them the way I feel about them. Hence, for the most part, I am in control of my game.”
Michelle Smith, a published author, stress and pain management professional, said that sex can unwind and bind you.
She wrote in a published article that when she woke up after what she called “a sexcapade” with her husband, she felt extremely refreshed. She pointed out that sex with your partner, when done right, preferably between a husband and wife, is one of the best routes to stress relief.
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